Nightmares
by its-amagicalplace
Summary: One Shot. Melinda May wakes in the middle of the night from a recurring nightmare about Bahrain. She's distressed, and Coulson goes to comfort her. #Philinda


**[One shot. Written for a "Make 'Em Kiss" challenge I was set on my Tumblr]**

* * *

_She wasn't going to lie, she was terrified. She could feel her heart pounding against her ribcage, and her adrenaline going into overdrive. She knew she had to get out, but more than that, she had to get everybody else out too. She had to protect them. There were the sounds of gunshots ringing through her ears. They were trapped. An explosion tore through the building. Glass shattered in every window. Screaming all around her. The heat of the flames on her skin. A smell of burning in her nose. She could see blood everywhere. So much blood, so much blood…_

May threw herself upright and awoke shaking and breathless. Her heart felt like it was going to burst straight out of her chest. The gun she kept under her pillow was clutched tightly in her right hand.

_You're in your room. You're on the BUS. It was just a dream_, she told herself. The same dream that had been keeping her awake night after night for years. The dream that kept her piloting the BUS until the early hours of every morning, so that she wouldn't have to close her eyes and relive the horror. The dream that made her down spirits before bed so that she could practically comatose herself into forgetting. None of that stopped her dreaming. But it had been worse than usual this time, much worse. It had been more realistic, like she was physically there again.

In Bahrain.

Trembling, she placed her weapon onto the bed next to her, and drew her knees up into herself, before dropping her head into her hands.

She allowed the tears that were pooled in her eyes to fall.

* * *

Coulson awoke, and quickly realised he'd been sleeping at his desk again. He'd been doing that a lot lately, what with the collapse of S.H.I.E.L.D and the threat of HYDRA returning, he'd been working later and later into the night, often waking to find himself slumped over his laptop or some file he'd been trying to read. The team kept telling him to go to bed at a normal time, that the file would wait, but he couldn't stop. Not now. He sighed to himself, stretched, and looked up at the clock on the wall opposite. 03:16 am. He was a light sleeper anyway, but what could have woken him at that time?

He listened to the silence of the BUS, and heard a slight noise come from somewhere down the hall. He got out of the chair, and headed from his office to investigate. As he walked quietly down the corridor, he heard the noise again, and with a jolt realised it was someone crying – a woman. So, either Skye, Simmons, or May. Getting closer to the sound however, he realised it was coming from May's room. He felt completely torn. He knew she would want to be alone if she was upset – she didn't like people to see her cry. But on the other hand, May didn't cry easily – she was the strong one of the team. She tended to take the pain or sorrow, and put it to better use, such as using it to take down an enemy. So if she was crying now, as she was, then she must really have been upset.

And there was only one thing he knew of that would make her cry at 3am, and that was the nightmares of her past. She'd started with the dreams years ago, when Bahrain had first happened, but he had no idea she was still suffering with them.

As soon as he got outside her door however, she stopped. It was as though she knew somebody was listening. Which, he thought to himself, she more than likely did.

He waited for a few seconds, then gently knocked.

"May" he murmured softly. "Are you okay?"

She didn't reply for a moment, but then he heard a quiet mumble. "Leave it Phil."

He closed his eyes, and leant his forehead against the outside of the door.

"May, talk to me. I know you're upset, just, please talk to me…is it...was it the dream again?"

There was silence from the other side of the door, but it was as though he could hear her making her mind up what to do. Then he heard the creak of her mattress as she got up, and her soft footsteps as she padded towards to door. She opened it slowly, just a crack, and he looked down into her face.

She had definitely been crying. Her eyes were pink and her cheeks were slightly flushed. But she looked…scared almost. And younger, more vulnerable even. Her dark hair was resting across her shoulders, but it looked as though she'd been running her hands through it a lot. She nodded slowly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked her quietly.

"Not really", she mumbled, but she opened the door wider and then wandered back to her bed, sitting down with a shaky sigh.

He followed her, closing the door behind him, and sat next to her on the edge of her bed. He could see the gun lying on the sheet next to her – he didn't know she still kept one with her when she slept. She sat in silence, but she looked broken.

"I didn't know you were still having the dreams, how often do they happen?"

She smiled sadly before looking at him. "Every single night Phil, every single night."

Every night. She'd been having her Bahrain nightmare every single night and he hadn't known. Had she been crying alone every night too? He felt terrible.

"Oh God, May, I had no idea."

"Why would you?" She looked back down at her hands in her lap, and continued. "Nobody on the BUS knows because I haven't told anybody."

"But why?"

She shrugged slightly. "I don't know really. I just...I've accepted I'm going to have them forever. It's like they are a part of who I am now."

He didn't know what to say. Back in the days they had worked together, straight after Bahrain had happened, he'd comforted her when she awoke screaming in the night. He'd held her close as she'd cried, stroked her hair, and promised her that the nightmares would stop.

But they hadn't.

He reached out and took one of her hands in her lap, squeezing it gently.

"I'm here for you, you know that right? Any time you want to talk about it, or anything else, I am here for you. I always have been and I always will be, no matter what happens okay?"

May didn't reply, but she nodded, and Coulson watched as she closed her eyes, and a single teardrop fell into her lap. He didn't know what else to do, so he let go of her hand, put his arms round her and pulled her sideways into him. He felt her resist at first, but after a moment she relaxed and leant against him, her head resting on his shoulder.

"Thank you Phil."

He gently leant down and kissed the top of her head.

"I am here for you Mel. Don't ever doubt it."

She opened her eyes and looked back up at him. He hadn't called her Mel in years. She smiled softly.

"I never have." And with that she slowly leaned upwards, closed her eyes, and brought her lips to his.

He could taste the saltiness of her tears in her kiss.


End file.
